what if I confessed my love to my long-term crush? at least he’d know. Or leveled with my boss that I would rather quit my job and move to Manhattan? he’d know too. or clarify with others all those hundreds of unknowns that could be known so there’d be less wondering. more ‘stake holders’ would be in the loop. less guess work. more openness. mmmmmm.
what would really change, except that I wouldn’t have all this stuff hanging over my head? Longing for something better…looking for greener grass. wanting, yearning. Perhaps I would just state these facts and boom – it would pass through like a satisfying meal. or wash over like morning rain. it could be akin to catching and releasing a fish. Or wearing eye glasses – finally. I would recognize what is. period.
I’m a little over “ambiguity” these days. I want clarity (of where I’m taking myself), focus (on getting myself there), power (pour forth, my dear creativity). I’d also like to spend a day – ONE WHOLE DAY – recognizing that I’m awesome. Feeling that I’m a successful person. Enjoying being me in full color rather than my depressing hues of grey.
Grey seems to be one of the most overrated colors of last season.