by Krystyna McMillan

Some people literally don’t shut up. They talk incessantly. They aren’t incorporating any pregnant pauses or seconds for contemplation into the conversation. They fill most moment with words, whether they are meaningful or not. They have a story for everything. “You got a story? I’ve got 10 stories for your story”. These people are afflicted with what I call the Talking Disease.

Those afflicted with the Talking Disease often know they have it, and even state out loud “I know, I’m talking too much”; others are quite clueless that their one-sided party crashing conversation is creeping over the line of comfortable boundaries. They aren’t intentionally trying to be rude. It’s a compulsion of unawareness.

Talkacoholics are uncomfortable with themselves. They are insecure or nervous. They might have a degree of brain trauma from recreational or pharmaceutical drug use, alcohol use and/or minor or major head injuries from sports, motor accidents, birth, etc.

When reviewing all this information is does make it easier to have compassion for someone who can’t shut up. The compassion card is handy when making space for my own personal responsibility. I can recognize when someone is a hardcore talkster and direct my energy accordingly.

This might include leaving the room, using a “talking stick” during meetings (which is highly effective, by the way), or redirecting the conversation away from current monologue. These are the best solutions I’ve come up with at this time. I’ve been contemplating for a while on the best way to deal with people who have the Talking Disease. It probably as simple as me saying something like “Yo. You’re talking way too much, bro. It’s overwhelming. Stop it.”

Personally, I enjoy quietude & harmonious conversational exchanges so unwelcome noise or oral drivel literally feels intrusive to me. Thus, I do have a natural aversion to Talky McTalkersons.

In my opinion, the talking disease is a genuine affliction. A person who talks incessantly is likely not being present in the moment or paying attention to their surroundings or the people in them.

There is a certain magic that happens when we tune in to simply being rather than filling the void with sound.

It’s a good idea to Shut up and Listen.

Some people don’t like being alone. I’m not one of those people. I love my alone time. I enjoy being in my own company, and can easily entertain myself in any moment.

My endless curiosity and commitment to myself keeps my attention. I can generally find something to do if I feel I want to “do something”, and I’m also quite content to daydream

Thus, I’ve come to appreciate the solo party.

Chilling with me, myself & I. My music, my desires, my inspiration. Its a party where I’m the VIP guest of honor.

These solo parties are the perfect opportunity for me to express myself through my various creative outlets.

I play my favorite beats vibe in. Maybe I’ll stretch for a bit, then dance for a while longer. Then I might write for a while, or do some work tasks…since my office is virtual. Perhaps I’ll chat with a few friends online. Or I’ll take the time to organize a cluttered space or unresolved tasks.

The solo party is a fun way to get things done. There are no rules, just having a great time. It reframes things that have to get done, like accounting, and turns it into rewarding good times.

It also make the things that I love doing though often procrastinate on more accessible to me. I pull a sneaky uncle and party my way to their completion.

Dance by yourself and get things done.

Every time i’ve felt the “I don’t want to” come up with an impending activity and done it anyway, I have come away from the experience being so glad that I did.

From jumping into an ice cold river first thing in the morning, to bungy jumping, from doing a yoga challenge to doing my taxes…the activities that weren’t on the top 10 of my to do list that I did anyway left me feeling transformed afterwards. Transformed.

There is an art to being uncomfortable. Pushing through the “I don’t wanna” is part of the breakthrough to the sweet spot where the goods hang out. Knowing that we can do it regardless of circumstance feeds our center of empowerment. Doing this consistently leads to a more confident sense of self.

“Doing it anyway” turns a “some day” into a right now. Many times I’ve been right there and thought: “today is not the day for this, but someday it will be”. And then minutes later i realize that TODAY is someday. Here I am trying to talk myself out of taking action in the present moment when the time to take action IS the present moment. How FUNNY. Doing it anyway is a good practice for pushing through procrastination tendencies.

A major breakthrough might feel like “wow, I can’t believe i did that”. When I jumped the 216 meter Bungy at Bloukrans Bridge in South Africa last year it was all in a dreamlike state. Especially that moment when I jumped and sailed downwards headfirst. In the midst of all the adrenaline I was surprised at how quiet that moment was….like time stopped or the earth paused in space. Later it was a mere memory with a token photo. I did that! And I could have easily said no to that experience since I was dealing with a spider bite that was making me feel other than the best ever. With half the group not participating I could have easily jumped on the someday train. I chose otherwise.

Minor breakthroughs can look like daily practices that may be challenging in the moment, and through persistently doing them they become easy. Cold showers, barefoot walking, speaking in front of groups, meditating, delivering & receiving truth bombs are great examples of an everyday challenge that can catalyze metamorphosis. My experience of these minor discomfort breakthroughs is that over time they become not only easier, but more enjoyable too. (Hey baby, wanna get uncomfortable this weekend?).

Breathing through discomfort…and even finding that edge where pain turns to pleasure. Our mind plays THE role on how we perceive things. Is something actually painful? Is this truly uncomfortable or is my mind being silly again?

I’ve walked on hot coals and thinking about glacial melt water literally made the experience below my feet feel cooler. A few days ago I was walking on a super summer hot trail without my shoes, and again thinking cool thoughts did ease the edge of pain I thought I was experiencing.

The art of discomfort can be about consciously addressing the aspects of our life that we’d prefer to ignore and embrace them and find that point of pleasure. Perhaps discomfort is a tricky way that Universe has come up with in cloaking transformational experiences. Whenever we feel uncomfortable we know that in time we will become better, more refined, resilient versions of ourselves.

If it feels uncomfortable, do it. That’s where the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow resides.

Probably one of the most dangerous activities I regularly participate in is flying in an airplane. There’s a lot going on when it comes to traveling by plane, and I’ve come to realize that the public awareness of the inherent danger levels are minimized.

From the ground to the sky experience and back again, shit gets real when there’s a flight involved. That metal tube with wings that flies through the clouds is a germ incubator, a radiation magnet, and a circadian rhythm, hormone disrupting trickster.

During a typical flight there’s a plethora of emotions and components that I don’t typically deal with; stressors on the body-mind spirit. TSA induced anxiety and fear; radiation from cosmic rays, jet lag, dehydration, and viral and toxin exposure from germs and all the chemicals used to clean and operate the planes. It’s gnar.

As a frequent flyer I’ve come up with my own flight protocol to mitigate all the whole ordeal that I do feel works. A decade ago a trip that included flights would have a high likelihood of leaving me with an ear or lung infection that lasted for weeks. Now I fly regularly and experience quick recovery, and no illness.

Last year I took over 50 flights around the world. My MO is to “hit the ground running”, so that my integration into my new environment is quick, easy, and graceful. I literally don’t have time to be sick.

The following protocol helps me A LOT.

Pre & Post: I prepare for flights a few days before, and continue a few days after. From visualizing the best flight ever to focusing on hydration, upping my anti-oxidant consumption and radiation protocol, I take flights very seriously.

Before: 5-9 MegaHydrate (literally helps with hydration) Caps, 3-5 packets LypoSpheric Vitamin C (antioxidant that helps protect cells from damage caused by the surplus of free radicals experienced with travel by plane) , 7-10 drops Iodine (most potent killer of viruses, bacteria, fungi and parasites in the world), 1 tsp Green Tea Extract (lesses effect of radiation exposure), recommended daily dose Max Stress B Vitamin Complex (B Vitamins are our friends when it comes to dealing with stress in general).

During: Wearing a Zapper (a Schumann Resonance device that emits a grounding earth frequency into my body), using Scents of Awe Breath as One (an immune supporting nose salve), chewing on Chlorella Tabs, Wearing Wool, Hemp, Cashmere, and other protective fabrics, using gems such as shungite, tourmaline etc on my person as an extra layer of protection. Eating fruits & vegetables like oranges and cucumbers can help with hydration and they are easy to transport.

After: 3-5 packets LypoSpheric Vitamin C, 7-10 drops Iodine, 1 tsp Green Tea Extract, Living Libations Salt Inhaler (purifies the respiratory system), Shower/Bath ( for the grounding effect and to wash the ick off), Sleeping Grounded in my Earthing Recovery Bag. The grounding part is essential for nipping jet lag in the bud. That combined with hydration and sticking to your new time zone schedule is your best bet for transcending jet lag.

That’s pretty much it. Frankly, there are more elements to cover. For now this is a great snapshot of how to keep yourself safe way up there.

As a schooled complacent when I heard the word nomadic I pictured native persons roaming the lands 200 years ago. I thought back in time.

Nomads aren’t a thing of the past though. They exist in present, modern circumstances.

They are each their own version of On The Road. Everyone has their story. Somehow they can work and travel. That variable makes it an easier & more natural choice.

Constant movement as the best opportunity beckons. In the past it would have been more rustically survival based. Currently it’s be more economically or career driven. It’s a naturally heartfelt choice.

It feels apparent to me that my movement patterns are quite like the nomadic natives I learned about years ago.

200 years later what does a nomad look like?

First impressions of a nomadic person are usually bohemian in nature. It’s all part of it. Being connected and whimsical. Wearing scarves. Crazy hair, more fearless in nature than the normal similar, is familiar with postal and shipping services, airport terminals & the present moment.

I recall having a conversation with a classic Nomadic type back in 2009. I was at Astral Harvest music festival in Alberta, Canada, and there was this exotic classical, colorful desert carnival tent pitched and offering a Hookah experience for people. To me this was the ultimate: This man had brought a colorful cross section of culture and tradition and refinement and implanted it into the middle of a musical human experiment to share its affect on the collective. This was how he made his living. Traveling to music festivals around the world and serving his world flavored download.

I remember looking at this man in the Moonlight. He said he spend a good portion of his year in Morocco, in the desert, and that his presentation of life was a reflection of his experience there. I felt grateful to this man for being.

He had really interesting eyes. I physically didn’t get the impression that he was much older 35 years old though his eyes were deep and ancient.

He looked nomadic. He had this Jack Sparrow meets Osho vibe that screamed “I don’t live anywhere. Where I pitch my tent, that’s where I sleep.” Classic.

Long dreads, premature wrinkles, bohemian to the max. Nomadic.

I consider myself nomadic. And I often wonder if visually I appear a variation of the quintessential nomadic I describe above. Mostly I want to shape shift. That’s why I feel I’m a good fit for the nomad life. I can be whoever I want to be in any moment. It has an action hero vibe, right? James Bond is a nomad, people.

Nomadic people are highly adaptable. They can shape shift as their current circumstances dictate. They are grounded, anchored (in self) yet free (spatially).

People who get around and can thrive in any circumstance; that’s why the nomadic look is hot.

In 2013 I finally made it to Burning Man. It’s been on my to do list since 2008 when I met some people at a party that blew my mind, and they had just been there. Naturally I thought there was a correlation.

Until this year it really wasn’t in the flow. Timing, finances, the sheer energy, invitations. They didn’t happen in unison until last year. A gorgeous friend said he was going, he booked the RV, invited me and a bestie plus one to come. Another friend invited us to join their camp. I had the means to go. I had the time to go. It all flowed.

That’s Burning Man for you. It told me when I was going to attend.

What I loved about Burning Man:

–Workshops. I learned a lot at Burning Man. Frankly, I was more of a daytime Burner. I attended workshops (Loved Sonya Sophia’s workshops at the Red Lightning Camp) and explored art & the desert. Sure I partied at night, but that ended up being the least of my priorities when I realized all the gold that was available at the daytime workshops. Radical inclusion and gifting at its finest.

–Wearing whatever I wanted. Literally. Liberation!

–My roommates. I literally had the best roommates EVER. We all got along, we were all independent, yet worked together to keep our Shangri-La and each other in a state of harmony. Together we enjoyed a number of lovely rituals: We drank champagne christened with rose water, brewed the best coffee, made the finest meals, ate the best chocolate….we enjoyed these times together, and we fucked off a lot and explored on our own. So we had the best of both worlds. Our wildcard roommate brought us a top up of champagne and avocados just as the supply ran dry and his fresh energy made the Burn Night extra special. LOVE THEM. FOREVER.

–My bike and my daily rides around the Playa. Exercise and easy entertainment. (Play your favorite song ever here).

–The plethora of art & music. Sensory overload in the best way possible. Loved every moment. I feel blessed that I am sharing a planet with others that are able to express themselves in the ways I observed at BM. Radical Self Expression is a perfect way of describing what goes on here. INSPIRED. IN AWE.

–The water appreciation factor. I was acutely aware all week of how much drinking water (which was fresh spring water collected from a Utah Source), washing water, toilet flushing water, grey water and black water we had. Monitoring all this water made me appreciate this ever flowing luxury that much more. If we ran out in the playa (or overfilled our RV grey/black tanks) we would have to deal, and we’d be at the mercy of the Playa Gods. After Burning Man we bee-lined for the hot springs. Heaven, my friends, is soaking in the hot springs after Burning Man.

–The break from the Wifi/iPhone. While we did eventually find a wifi hub just steps from our camp (ironic) it was quite sweet to surrender to the dusty interconnected nothingness that most of the Festival provided.

What I didn’t like:

–The rule breakers (litterbugs): Some people were all over the principles of BM, and others couldn’t give a shit. It’s a serious bummer. I guess it’s a reflection of the planet as well. For example, signs everywhere said: please don’t pour your greywater in the portapotties. This was to encourage people to consciously dispose of their dishwater into the widely available evaporation contraptions set up around the desert (I mean, its hot and dry. A total no brainer.), and to not make the portapotties any more gross than they already were. I saw a few people pouring their waste water into the portapotties. Sigh. I guess those people don’t know how to read?

–The copious drug use. I’m not here to judge, and I’m not against fun. I am a keen observer, however, and as someone who was mostly sober (as i mentioned I did enjoy my share of rose water christened champagne), I noticed that a lot of people around me were hardly sober. Like in the “out of their gourd” category. The eyes and jaws of fellow Burners showed that generous amounts of party favors were consumed at any given time of the day at BM. It’s not like I think this is “bad”. I do feel that being in the desert while participating in this human experiment is a pretty big trip in itself. I also feel that being mostly or closer to sober is a good idea when anything could happen at any moment. Dust storms, heat stroke, accidents, epiphanies, random who knows what. In my opinion, being cracked out on x impedes Burning Man principal 7: Civic Responsibility. I have to say that I’m biased because I’m frustrated with human apathy enmasse and this behavior triggers me. I’ve also been called to 911 level action in party situations and my near sobriety literally saved the day.

–The lines. 12 hours in a line of cars to get in, similar to get out. BARF.

–The gifting of junk/unhealthy foods. One of the Burning Man principles promotes gifting. This is a wonderful principal. The gifts my friends and I received included cheap dollar store plastic items like a bubble dispenser that didn’t work, gum that contained aspartame, cookies baked with gluten-rich wheat flour, and a shower of chemical laden sunscreen that actually was not desired or needed. Now, I know I’m at the risk of sounding like an ungrateful freak, but I have to say, that I’m not interested in receiving any of the above. Thus, I’m tempted to say that a lot of the gifting that occurs at Burning Man in not done with the highest consciousness. Frankly, i don’t get it. Why give a gift just to give a gift? Why not share something extraordinary that comes completely from the heart? One girl I met gave a guy I was talking to a bejeweled portable ashtray that she created herself. It was beautiful. She probably made only a couple and chose that guy to give it to, because he literally needed an ashtray when she gave it to him. In that moment I wished I had been smoking so that she had given it to me, it was that gorgeous. That is a gift. Hucking dollar store junk around and calling it a gift is called voting for the wrong party. This is MY OPINION. Call me an asshole if you don’t agree. And I recognize that most people aren’t aware of how lame cheap shit is.

–Spending Money on junk I didn’t need and would NEVER normally buy but did anyway. Enter cheap dollar/party store examples here. I really do not enjoy buying stuff that breaks after one use. Experience showed me that all I really needed was a couple extra lights and a lock for my bike. I had everything I needed for BM or could have easily manifested it. Keep in mind that I’m a perpetual traveler, an aspiring minimalist and basically kick ass most days of the week (i.e. am highly skilled at improvising and problem solving). I resolve to spend my money more consciously in general, and especially if I ever return to BM.

–Nuclear Testing 50 miles from the site. One evening, as we rode the Lady Sassafras across the Playa, I had a lovely conversation with an guy who begrudgingly admitted he was in the Army. I immediately shared with him that I was beyond delighted to learn that an “Army Guy” was attending Burning Man. This to me was a great sign from beyond. Our conversation led to him disclosing to me he knew that the Army did nuclear testing about 50 miles from the Burning Man festival site. FAIL.

There you have it. My take on Burning Man. Should you go? YES. Remember to pack your iodine and immune supporting foods and supplements. Be safe and have the TIME OF YOUR LIFE. And READ the Burning Man Principles. It’s the whole point.

xo

I am loyal to my dreams. A sign I noticed near the compost toilet of the retreat eco-lodge. So poetic.

I love dreaming. I take great pleasure in imagining my perfect life. Perhaps my dreams might seem grandiose or idealistic to some, though I don’t care. My dreams are exciting and visceral and they basically fuel my life. I know what I am going for; it’s the striving for my dreams that gets me out of bed every morning and nourishes the choices that I make. My dreams guide my life.

Last week I was in Tulum, Mexico for a Dream Craft Retreat. This entailed us writing out our dreams in five areas of our life, sharing them, and partaking in yogic and shamanic rituals to invite & invoke these dreams into our realities.

Before we even met, though, we were asked to evaluate 18 areas of our life: what is, why it is so, what we would change, and why we haven’t yet.

Then we chose our top five areas that we’d like to work on and wrote out our ideal situation.

Curiously I found this exercise quite challenging, and didn’t delve into it until the night before I left. And I worked on my dreams on the plane rides there. Pressure makes diamonds, right?

Reading my dreams out loud was an exciting process, as was receiving feedback on how to refine them even more. I am spelling out my dreams. I am casting a spell on my life. This is what I want, Universe. Pretty please with acerola cherries on top & thank you. EMPOWERMENT.

There was also a bonus component of a Morning Tea Ritual that I found to be especially magical. Sitting in the company of eight other babes in quiet contemplation, sipping Puerh & other fine teas. I’ve come to realize that this peaceful tea practice could unlock some serious genius in my life. And keep me sane. More on that in a future post.

I feel quite invigorated by my experience from last week. The clarity I’ve received by tuning into what I want is a effective calmative, and it does feel empowering to inspire myself.

As I settle into my “normal” rhythm, I am curious to see how this will unfold. This is the part where I surrender and listen for cues & clues.

Lights. Camera. Action.

If you like this post, please comment below! 

It’s a New Year, and I’m really excited. 2014, baby!

In previous years I may have felt a little edgy on January 1 because in addition to possibly being hungover or super tired from partying until the wee hours of the morning, the New Year for me brought all kinds of pressure.

Gotta be better! The heaviness to be more fit, to earn more money, to yadda yadda, my God, it made me want to hide, or distract myself so deeply with activity that I didn’t have time to think.

I spent this New Years Eve by myself. This was a first. I’ve always gone to some kind of party, even if it wasn’t my thang. This year I was invited to a couple of soirees that I’m sure would have been fun, but I was destined to party with me, myself and I.

So, I literally partied by myself. I made myself a lovely dinner, had wine, and chaga tea & played my favorite music and enjoyed all things me related.

I created a special ceremony to celebrate the new year. It was a combination of intention setting & tobacco and a spring water potion christened with flower essenses. This is one of my favorite creative outlets. The craft of a contemporary shamanic artiste! (Said with a french accent).

Maybe this sounds like the most boring night ever, but to me it was a blast.

All the things that typically annoy me about New Years (the coupling at midnight, the getting shit-faced drunk, the fromage factor), were all bypassed.

Instead I visualized who and how I want to be and where I want to go this year and be in ceremony with that. Today I continued with that process some more. It’s interesting how writing all this down has shown me what I really want.

And this is where I’ve noticed massive stress reduction. I feel calm, cool, collected and inspired about the year to come because I’ve already put my order in with the Universe. Highly recommended.

Beats being hungover for sure.

There are many opinions out there on how to be healthy. I haven’t seen too many articles on how to be sick & depressed. So I’m taking it upon myself to fill that niche.

If you’re into being sick, depressed (& looking haggard for that matter), here’s the shortcut:

Food
Eat as much processed food as you can. McDonald’s, Burger King and KFC can easily help you out with affordable, super fast options. At the supermarket, look for foods in packages. If the ingredient lists are long and daunting, and contain buzzwords like “mechanically separated”, “monosodium glutamate”, “high fructose corn syrup”, etc, you are on the right track. If you really want to play the apathetic card, don’t even read the ingredients.

Avoid fruits & vegetables, or anything that looks like it may have been living in the ground or forest at some point. If you MUST eat them, select heavily sprayed conventional, genetically modified produce. We’re going for sick and depressed here. Go hard, or go home. And don’t even bother rinsing your produce. That’s what happy people do.

Drink
Drink tap water. Or preferably, don’t drink any water at all. Stick to soda pop and caffeinated energy drinks, exclusively. Don’t worry about that burst of energy that comes from the caffeine/sugar combo. It won’t last long. “I hate life” will always be around the corner with these drinks making their way down the hatch.

Note: If you notice that eating or drinking a certain food or drink makes you feel tired or “icky”, keep eating it. This is exactly what we’re going for here! It’s hard to feel happy when you feel like shit. 🙂

Body care & household products
Whether you’re using a moisturizer for your face or detergent to wash your clothes, choose conventional, non-organic, non-biodegradable product varieties. If you wish to read ingredients look for names that are reminiscent of something out of an advanced chemistry class.

Bonus, the creation and use of these types of products wreak havoc on the environment, so you can feel bad about that too. Depressing!!

Lifestyle
Hate your job? Awesome. Do you have inspiring friends? Get rid of them. Do you spend time in nature? Stop it!! Do you give thanks for every little thing? Not recommended. Do you exercise? This might make you happier, so beware.  Your best friend for feeling your worst is the couch; make TV watching and video gaming a priority.

In short, that’s how you can fast track your way to an uninspired, polluted life. It’s also a great way to prematurely age yourself. So….if that’s your thing, the blueprint is here. Enjoy!

Reminder that if you want to be Healthy, Happy and Radiant do not do any of the above. This is for sick & depressed people only.