Archives: attractive confidence

I often have interventions with myself. I’ll be trucking along having fun and suddenly I’ll cut myself off from the flow with limiting self talk & actions.

When it comes to being attractive to the opposite sex, does confidence trump nose jobs, weight loss and brand name clothes? I’m inclined to say that it does.

Although if you had great confidence AND THEN got a nose job, lost some weight and got a ‘what not to wear’ style make over – these could really made a person ridiculously delicious. Perhaps this is what makes a rock star.

Anyway…

According to self proclaimed expert Mirabelle Summers, bone fide personal acceptance & love is all you need to attain to be über attractive to the opposite sex. Too bad you can’t buy this eau de “I am worthy” in a bottle at Neiman Marcus for $150. Cheap! Nope, the kind of confidence that’s based on a genuine acceptance of yourself comes from the courage of doing ‘inner work’ on a daily basis, and knowing you’re awesome just the way you are.

Let’s break it down. We all know that:

• People who are insecure are unattractive and needy. Red alert! It’s interesting how they project themselves to others and almost encourage others to continue treating them in the way they see themselves. It’s wacky.

• Most people live their daily lives out of fear and anxiety, believing that if they can just get X to happen (make a million dollars, get that biker boyfriend, lose twenty pounds), those negative feelings will go away and they’ll be ‘happy’.

• But…if a person is fearful and anxious this is simply a reflection of themselves and how they habitually deal with the world, not a reflection of what’s happening in their life. Woo-woo. It’s starting to get deep over here!

• Until a person changes how they deal with themselves at a root level, they will never be able to change those behaviors and will continue to be at the mercy of insecurity and anxiety. Ew!

• And this spiral of negative emotions highlights their insecure behavior – especially around those lovelies that they want to snuggle with or get closer to – poisoning their ability to create lasting, fulfilling, and healthy relationships. Oh oh.

• When actions are motivated by insecurity and anxiety, this shows through to the quality of beings (or lack of beings) in a person’s life … usually in the form of validation-seeking (tell me I’m beautiful – please?) relationships and verifies that yucky feeling of lack. Needless to say, this usually drives quality people away (ie NOT a chick or dick magnet).

• The only way an individual can take care that their behavior is consistently coming from their confident higher self is to deal with insecurity at the root. That line in Jerry Maguire when Jerry says “you complete me” is bullshit. A person completes themselves. In other words, the man or woman of your dreams won’t make you happy until you’re just plain ole happy all by yourself. Yep.

Once this happens, all the anxious-insecure-fear tainted behaviors these peeps weren’t even aware of vanish like a Criss Angel illusion. Instead, you’ll find a person that exudes an innate strength and certainty that not only draws positive situations and people into their lives, but that the opposite sex finds oh so sexy.

Well shit…that’s almost as easy as buying some ‘eau de I love myself’ at Neiman Marcus. Thank Gawd I’m totally confident. Phew.