Archives: gratitude

when things work out

I marvel at how the worst thing ever can easily turn into a blessing. Take for example the other day when I flew home from a sweet lil’ visit in Maine. My luggage didn’t make it home with me. At first I was freaking out. 

What? How dare they? Do they have any idea how much they are inconveniencing me? And what the hell: where are my “good vibes” now?
Minutes later the paper work was filled out and my ride showed up at the airport. Turns out the ultra small car was packed with five people and could barely manage my friend Aniela’s carry on (the trunk was small and already full. Personally when I pick someone up from the airport I leave room in my trunk – but hey, were all on our own trip and this oversight supports the miracle of my story). 
There’s no way that big duffel filled with camping equipment would have fit in that car. Or if it could have somehow, it would have made for a very uncomfortable 4 hour drive.
It’s like the angels knew. So a mild inconvenience of me not having a bag of stuff that I think I need for a few days offered us a headache free means to make our way home. Meanwhile, the airline is delivering my bag right to my door.
Thus, I give gratitude to all that’s happening in the unseen. Somehow it’s all perfect. Thank you! I never  knew I could be so excited about lost luggage.
I came here to cry

I came here to cry


This past equinox I spent exploring the wondrous Machu Picchu. Such beauty. The mountains surrounding the ancient ruins are ginormous and covered in trees, and these huge mounds BREATHE. And the river that flows around the base of this whole scene ROARS. This place is powerful.

Somehow I knew when I got here that I would cry. I wasn’t sure why, I just knew I would. I had heard countless stories of others experiencing the same thing…feeling overwhelmed at the beauty, and so forth.
And so the tears came. Hiking up WayuPicchu I had a humbling moment. Unable to keep up with my 24 year old counterpart I felt terribly inadequate. For all my athleticism, I was still acclimatizing to the altitude, with a sore hip that decided to make itself felt just that morning. But I still wanted my body to work perfectly – I demanded it. Note to future travellers of Machu Picchu: check your ego at the door.
Red in the face I came to a terrace where my friend Rebecca was waiting, and I sobbed in defeat as I caught my breath. Why do I need to be perfect? What is perfect? My pace is the ultimate pace. Why am I letting the pace of others affect my self worth? Somebody give me a stiff drink.
Later I sat looking out at the valley near the top of the mountain and laugh-cried. It started raining, and it felt like we were being showered with sparkles. How fortunate am I to be here? Gratitude fills my heart.
Atop WayuPicchu it was electric – our hair standing straight up. We were chased down the mountain by a guard who feared we’d be struck by lightning. Ha: what a way to go.
In the moment though, all that electricity made me feel alive, aware of my own mortality.
What I experienced this day is what could literally be described as the alchemical charging of the human being.
Recommended.

when I say go it will happen


life is trucking by at lightning speed. I feel like I am in the eye of a hurricane of changes that surround me. Things seem pretty stable in my life. part of me says: hey! when’s it gonna be my turn? but the other part of me says: be grateful, Krystyna. Enjoy this peace. All in divine timing…

what ever I cannot seem to change i must simply accept. And vice versa. Otherwise I’m basically looking to get bruised.

having a crystal clear idea of the hurricane of changes I’d like to experience is great idea. let the visualization begin.
And on that note of just being, listen, and let your shoulders shake: Madder Red

precious, my precious.

I’m the queen of long showers. I love standing under hot water and letting it wash away the day. On the flip side, I turn off the tap in between rinses while I brush my teeth. I recognize and understand the concept of water conservation, but with tap water in my daily life I don’t earnestly practice it. I’m not a mega water waster…but I could be more mindful.

With spring water, that I’ve collected from the source – this is a different story. Driving for hours to collect a few gallons of pure unadulterated living water – suddenly all my sips and uses are considered – no water goes to waste. Spillage is unacceptable. Every drop counts. Water is sacred again.
When I take ownership of the water I consume, I feel accountable for all the actions that follow. And there is a simplicity of fetching my own water, and then conserving it – all my food and drink choices become deliberate – no knee jerk reaction meals or beverages are created where water is spilled down the drain because something didn’t work out or I changed my mind.
Seriously, presence is necessary when handling spring water collected from the source.
And….I savor water more. Drinking water has become a ritual. Pouring, enjoying and feeling gratitude. I feel gratitude that I’m able to drink this amazing water, that I have the resources and knowledge to acquire it, and for the pure, hydrating nourishment it gives my body.
Clearly, it’s worth all the effort.

the art of giving


I’ve been giving money to bums lately. I suppose I’ve been asked by them a lot more. And I’ve actually had the cash on hand. I’ve been known to respond to bums “do you take debit?” when they ask – not to be cheeky – but because it was the truth. I physically can’t give what I don’t have. One thing I like doing is giving them a fiver. It’s more than they expect when they ask for change. The look of gratitude on their face alone is worth the transaction. I mean, expecially knowing that I would probably just spend it on a soy latte @ starbucks – which creates waste and screws with my adrenal glands – whatev’s. I’d rather help a bum.
Sure, there is a strong likelihood he’ll spend the money I give him on stuff that doesn’t serve his higher self – but I don’t live on the street – so I’m not going to judge the comforts someone seeks when they sleep on the ground and eat out of a dumpster. Neale Donald Walsh once said to open your heart to giving to those that ask…because it really is hard to ask. And he was a homeless alcoholic and he got his shit together and became way sucessful. It was the combination of his will and the donations of humans that facilitated this. Bums see life in a whole different way…and even though many of them are totally bombed on who-knows-what a good deal of the time, I can’t help but wonder how much more ‘connected’ they are at the same time. Their worries are exclusively based in the present moment.
My dad ‘happened’ upon a box of Australian Viognier mini bottles – it was an exciting day until we tasted it. Meh. Not our cup of tea. So the box of vino blanco sat in the garage for months, until a big spring clean day. I volunteered to take the box down to Whyte and leave it near a dumpster where the likelihood of it being ‘disposed of’ properly’ was high. Days later I stopped off for groceries, popped my trunk to grab my reusable bags and then (appropriately) noticed a bum hanging outside the super-marché selling his Voice magazine – which chronicles the plight of the homeless. I seized the opportunity, grabbed the heavy box from my truck and walked over to the man. “This might sound weird….but do you want a box of wine? My fam and I don’t like the taste – it’s yours if you want it”. Well “God bless you, child”, he sure did want the 24 bottles of classy, mind numbing goodness. Later after my shop I noticed him and his girlfriend pushing a shopping cart together – the box of wine its only contents – into the sunset. I imagined them having a romantic evening together, drinking wine and sharing stories – just like I do when I’m on a date.
It was a magical moment in my life – all brought to me through practicing the art of giving.

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